howdy sunday :)

14 Nov

the sky are bright and the light of the sun enters the wide  windows in my house that i can barely feel the hotness. i was waking up due to the sound of ‘pot pet pot pet’ from my house mates. they were talking crappy and of course gossiping, well duh!! thats what girls do. 🙂

as the weeks pass by, now i am in the very last week for my semester one. i still have 2 papers for my examination, which are both my favorite subject physics and chemistry. i dont think i have a problem to answer ’em all 🙂

i am looking forward for coming back to my hometown SABAH. countdown baby!!! 4days to go 🙂 but, i have not packing anything yet. maybe i should start pack all my things after my last paper for examination. 🙂

 

A must read. Oh my god. This is beautiful. Worth the read.

9 Nov

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

upset ;(

1 Nov

Being in a relationship is awesome, but it can also suck. i have a friend whom i cant really mention HIS name here. we were very close since last 2 weeks. we had a very great time together and most of the time my phone rang because of him. i like to have a good relationship with him. but. just a few days later, he turned up to be a different person.a person that doesnt really good and such a jerk. i just wanna tell him that i like him and i really hope that things will be better soon for both of us. i dont wanna create a bad memories with him and yet, i still want to be friend with him.

 

exam mode ;)

24 Oct

slaw people!! 😉

today is 25th of October. i still have another 2 more weeks to go for my final exam for this semester. i was spending much of my precious time playing around and do nothing. i forgot the word STUDY for the time being..lols.

i guess it is the time for me to go back on track. focusing with my academic and start to do my revisions. oh my god,  i have 8 subjects to cover for 2 weeks. so i hope i manage to cover all of them. i know its hard, but i promise i will try harder.

im going to start doing my revision today and i try not to look back instead of looking forward for a bright future of mine..lols. wish me luck and i really hope laziness will go far far away from me.

If I….

18 Oct

If I could sleep, I would.

If I had another chance, I’d take it.

If I was put in the same situations, I’d do things differently.

If I was taken back, I’d be taken forever.

If I was asked what I missed most, I’d answer “my best friend.”

If I was asked if I could be trusted, I’d say yes, and mean it.

If I cry, it doesn’t make me less of a man.

If I love unconditionally, without fear or uncertainty, I’ll be happier.

If I had to spend the rest of my life with someone, it would be her.

If I get impatient, I tell myself “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

If I get upset, I don’t react how I used to.

If I fall, I get back up.

If I try and take control, I lose control.

If I could right my wrongs, I would.

I can.

some soothing beverages.

15 Oct

milk.

  • it contains tryptophan, which as it is metabolized is converted to mood-boosting serotonin. plus, its calcium, magnesium and potassium content may help keep blood pressure down.

hot cocoa.

  • warm drinks raise your body temperature—a feeling we associate with comfort, so it triggers a similar response in our brains.

black tea.

  • drinking black tea four times a day for six weeks lowers the stress hormone cortisol after a stressful event.

green tea.

  • it’s packed with theanine, which increases the brain’s output of relaxation-inducing alpha waves and reduces the output of tension-making beta waves.

cold water.

  • then go for a walk outside. the water gets your blood moving and the air invigorates by stimulating the endorphins that de-stress you.

 

Busted Fitness Myths

15 Oct

No pain no gain.
You need to experience some sort of muscle soreness to see results, but you don’t want to go overboard and cause an injury. Delayed onset muscle soreness occurs when nerve endings get inflamed after you slightly tear your muscle tissues while exercising. As your muscles repair themselves they get stronger and bigger, so you can work them all over again. So yes you do need some muscle soreness to see results, but not acute pain – and rest and recovery is important.

I go to the gym so I can eat what I like, right?
Wrong, 80% of your results come from nutrition. If you’re in the gym for an hour a day, you still have plenty of time to eat badly and your workout isn’t going to make up the difference. Exercising does help – but it isn’t going to cancel out poor eating habits.

The more I exercise the better I’ll do.
If you think making the gym your second home is a great way to get results, think again. Too much training not only results in over-use injuries but also stimulates the stress hormone cortisol, which has been shown to increase fat around the stomach. Ideally you need one to two days of complete rest a week and to keep your workouts to no more the 60 minutes.

If I do hundreds of crunches I’ll lose my muffin muffin top
There’s no such thing as spot reducing fat. You can do as many crunches as you like but if you have a layer of fat over the muscles they won’t show. You need to lose weight by eating well, and bear in mind that the first place you gain fat is the last place you’ll lose it.

Exercising long and slow burns more fat
It’s true your body uses more fat for energy while exercising at a lower intensity but a more intense workout will get your heart rate up higher, which burns more calories during and after your workout. Studies have shown interval training can increase your fitness by up to twice as much as traditional, long, slow distance work and is far more efficient for fat loss.

I should always do cardio first
No, you should do it last. If you do cardio first, your body sees it as a warm up and you’ll start by using glycogen stores for fuel rather than burning fat. You need that glycogen for the short, sharp effort of lifting weight. Doing your weights routine first depletes your glycogen (stored energy in the muscles) stores, so when you hit the treadmill your body will be in fat-burning mode straight away.