Archive | reality RSS feed for this section

Want To Know What Makes A Woman Attractive?

21 Nov

Men react to the satisfying physical appearance that meets their eyes when they refer to what makes a woman attractive. Moreover, more specific the assessment is made in the buttocks and or breast area first.

So ladies, don’t take my word for it, test it yourself. Wear something to flatter your breasts if that is your best feature or pair of neat fitting pants to place your butt at the centre of attention. You do not need to wear the tightest top or second skin pair of jeans to do the trick. The way your body does the talking must do the magic. Come to think of it, he will only pay attention in the first place if you caught his eye. All you need to do is to keep the eye on you!

When men actually do get past the butt and boob watching. Then they move the focus on to the other fascination they have – lips. Men find it very hard to resist staring at an attractive woman’s lips. What makes lips sexy for men? You are wrong if you thought it is that rouge fatal you are wearing! Men love a natural plump look with a subtle hint of gloss. In fact, men hate lipstick. In order for you to send the message of “kissable lips”, you need to make sure your lips are moist, soft and smooth with very little lipstick if any.

Well, you might not believe this ladies, but men has a huge preference for women with a personality. It is expected of a woman who is regarded as attractive to be confident, have a good self-esteem and some independence will do no harm. So now that you have him interested, do not let go of him.

Introduce him to the real you right from the start. Do not do and say stupid things just to impress him. They are very good at telling the difference between fake and genuine personalities. If you fake it, you won’t make it!

Well, you might think I am lying, but ladies, men craze for a woman with a brain! They will not admit it eagerly though, but an intelligent, good-looking woman is priceless to a man. The pretty, dumb prima Dona usually serves only one purpose for one night only. Not exactly the type of women he would his parents or friends to meet and definitely not the type he would choose to be the mother of his unborn children.

Relationship Advice – Have a Partner, not Competitor :)

21 Nov

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.

Ambitious, competitive people are likely to find themselves in relationships with each other, where this problem is likely to arise. If this description applies to you, you should really take the time to consider whether or not your relationship is suffering from this problem. “Boy energy,” is something Rori Raye talks about – it is the type of energy that women use to reach great heights. She suggests that we women avoid bringing it to our relationships with men, because it can undermine our efforts to make him feel loved, respected, and accepted.

It should be easy to tell if this is a problem for you. He may suddenly shy away from competitive activities, like board games or exercise. If he declines your invitations to participate in competitive activities consistently, you can be sure that there is trouble in paradise.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can’t keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

If you take this relationship advice to heart as soon as you realize that there is a rift in your relationship, you stand a chance of resolving these issues. By putting yourself in his shoes, you can better understand the problem. Competition is a natural part of life, but it should not be a part of your love life! By saving your competitive energy for when it counts, and offering him the love, acceptance, and respect he deserves, you can turn your competitive relationship into one of mutual support.

Is it ok for a woman to fart or burp in public?

21 Nov

Ok, so firstly, you may wonder why this post is about women, not men. And that is because it’s ok for men to fart and burp in public. Sorry, ladies, but it’s the truth. I wish it wasn’t, but it really is. Men are men, and they’d do it even if it wasn’t ok.

Now I’ll hit you with a fact; woman have more class than men. And men find that attractive. Honestly, men of the world, would you prefer someone classier than you, who you can show off with pride, or a dirty, nose-picking (something I’ll get into in another post), slightly loose “lady”? The former obviously.

Introduction done, now I’ll tell you all the reason as to why I’m making this post. Firstly, it’s an important question, and the second reason is four-fold. 1, my sister’s boyfriend said that farting in public is wrong period. 2, my Biology teacher said burping is better than farting in public. 3, my girl friend (that space means we aren’t together) always says she needs to “break wind” (she’s posh) but refuses to do it in the presence of anyone else. 4, the boys of my school happily fart in class, but the girls don’t, however they do burp.

Over the years, I have realised that burping in public is fine, men andwomen. I honestly do not know what my sister’s boyfriend was thinking when he said burping is worse than farting. So ladies, burp all you want. But fart? No, don’t do it. Yet.

The timing of when you can fart is like when you can get mad at someone. For example, you don’t have a go at someone who’s just become your friend, because you want them to stay friends with you, so you wait. And then one day, you can lose it with them, and they’ll still be cool with you. So if you wait long enough, you can fart in front of people, and they won’t hate you for it.

The moral of this post is, although farting and burping is as natural as wanting to sex someone up good and proper, it can’t just be done straight away if you’re a woman. Like sex, men can do whatever they want and society looks past it, but if a woman does it – outrage. So, to you ladies out there, burp all you want (just don’t blow it. Unless it’s at a cat, then it’s hilarious.), but wait a while before you fart. Slowly add more and more farts to your daily life, and people won’t even notice that you’re farting in front of them. Simple.

 

A must read. Oh my god. This is beautiful. Worth the read.

9 Nov

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

If I….

18 Oct

If I could sleep, I would.

If I had another chance, I’d take it.

If I was put in the same situations, I’d do things differently.

If I was taken back, I’d be taken forever.

If I was asked what I missed most, I’d answer “my best friend.”

If I was asked if I could be trusted, I’d say yes, and mean it.

If I cry, it doesn’t make me less of a man.

If I love unconditionally, without fear or uncertainty, I’ll be happier.

If I had to spend the rest of my life with someone, it would be her.

If I get impatient, I tell myself “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

If I get upset, I don’t react how I used to.

If I fall, I get back up.

If I try and take control, I lose control.

If I could right my wrongs, I would.

I can.

Busted Fitness Myths

15 Oct

No pain no gain.
You need to experience some sort of muscle soreness to see results, but you don’t want to go overboard and cause an injury. Delayed onset muscle soreness occurs when nerve endings get inflamed after you slightly tear your muscle tissues while exercising. As your muscles repair themselves they get stronger and bigger, so you can work them all over again. So yes you do need some muscle soreness to see results, but not acute pain – and rest and recovery is important.

I go to the gym so I can eat what I like, right?
Wrong, 80% of your results come from nutrition. If you’re in the gym for an hour a day, you still have plenty of time to eat badly and your workout isn’t going to make up the difference. Exercising does help – but it isn’t going to cancel out poor eating habits.

The more I exercise the better I’ll do.
If you think making the gym your second home is a great way to get results, think again. Too much training not only results in over-use injuries but also stimulates the stress hormone cortisol, which has been shown to increase fat around the stomach. Ideally you need one to two days of complete rest a week and to keep your workouts to no more the 60 minutes.

If I do hundreds of crunches I’ll lose my muffin muffin top
There’s no such thing as spot reducing fat. You can do as many crunches as you like but if you have a layer of fat over the muscles they won’t show. You need to lose weight by eating well, and bear in mind that the first place you gain fat is the last place you’ll lose it.

Exercising long and slow burns more fat
It’s true your body uses more fat for energy while exercising at a lower intensity but a more intense workout will get your heart rate up higher, which burns more calories during and after your workout. Studies have shown interval training can increase your fitness by up to twice as much as traditional, long, slow distance work and is far more efficient for fat loss.

I should always do cardio first
No, you should do it last. If you do cardio first, your body sees it as a warm up and you’ll start by using glycogen stores for fuel rather than burning fat. You need that glycogen for the short, sharp effort of lifting weight. Doing your weights routine first depletes your glycogen (stored energy in the muscles) stores, so when you hit the treadmill your body will be in fat-burning mode straight away.

10 Ways To Deal With Negative People ;p

11 Oct

I read an article on Tinybuddha’s blog and the writer came up with these amazing 10 ways. Check it out.

 

1. Resist the urge to judge or assume.

It’s hard to offer someone compassion when you assume you have them pegged. He’s a jerk. She’s a malcontent. He’s an–insert other choice adjective. Even if it seems unlikely someone will wake up one day and act differently we have to remember it is possible.

When you think negative thoughts, it comes out in your body language. Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. Try coming at them with the positive mindset you wish they had. Expect the best in them. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised.

2. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole.

It’s always easier to offer someone compassion if you try to understand where they’re coming from. But that can’t completely excuse their behavior. If you show negative people you condone the way they act, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down).

It may help to repeat this in your head when you deal with them: “I understand your pain. But I’m most helpful if I don’t feed into it.” This might help you approach them with both kindness and firmness so they don’t manipulate you.

3. Maintain a positive boundary.

Some people might tell you to visualize a bright white light around you. This doesn’t actually work for me because I respond better to ideas in words than visualizations. So I tell myself this, “I can only control the positive space I create around myself.”

Then when I interact with this person, I try to do three things, in this order of importance:

  • Protect the positive space around me. When their negativity is too strong to protect it, I need to walk away.
  • Diffuse their negativity.
  • Help them feel more positive, not act more positive–which is more likely to create the desired result.

4. Disarm their negativity, even if just for now.

This goes back to the ideas I mentioned above. I know my depressed friend will rant about life’s injustices as long as I let her. Part of me feels tempted to play amateur psychiatrist–get her talking, and then try to help her reframe situations into a more positive light.

Then I remind myself I can’t change her whole way of being in one phone call. She has to want that. But I can help her focus on something positive right now, in this moment. I can ask about her upcoming birthday. I can remind her it’s a beautiful day for a walk. Don’t try to solve or fix them. Just aim to help them now.

5. Temper your emotional response.

Negativity loves getting a rise out of people. Someone to feel for the sob story. Someone to get outraged over the injustice. Someone to get offended by the racist joke. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness.

People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing. Respond as calmly as you can with a simple line of fact, even if it’s unrelated. “Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Planning to watch it?”

6. Question what you’re getting out of it.

Like I mentioned above, we often get something out of relationships with negative people. Get real honest with yourself: have you fallen into a caretaker role because it makes you feel needed? Have you gossiped in a holier-than-thou way? Do you have some sort of stake in keeping the things the way they are?

Questioning yourself helps you change the way you respond–which is really all you can control. You can’t make someone think, feel, or act differently. You can be as kind as possible or as combative as possible, and still not change reality for someone else. All you can control is what you think and do–and then do your best to help them without hurting yourself.

7. Remember the numbers.

Research shows that people with bad attitudes have significantly higher rates of stress and disease. Someone’s mental state plays a huge role in their physical health. If someone’s making life miserable for people around them, you can be sure they’re doing worse for themselves.

What a sad reality. That someone has so much pain inside them they have to act out, like a kid in a tantrum, just to feel some sense of relief–even if that relief comes from getting a rise out of people. When you remember how much a difficult person is suffering, it’s easier to stay focused on minimizing negativity, as opposed to defending yourself or making it worse.

8. Don’t take it personally–but know sometimes it is personal.

Conventional wisdom suggests you should never take it personally when you deal with a negative person. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. You can’t write off everything someone says because they’re insensitive or untactful. An abrasive person can come at you in the worst possible way with a valid point.

Accept that you don’t deserve the excessive emotions in someone’s tone, but weigh their ideas with a willingness to learn. Some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned came from people I wished weren’t right. When you give someone credit who deep down doesn’t think they deserve it, you may inspire a profound shift in how they interpret the world.

9. Act instead of just reacting.

Oftentimes we wait until someone gets angry or depressed to address their persistently negative way of being. If you know someone who seems to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings (as demonstrated in their behavior) don’t wait for a situation to be part of the solution.

Give them a compliment for something they did well. Remind them of a moment when they were happy–as in Remember when you scored that touchdown during the company picnic? That was awesome! You’re more apt to want to boost them up when they haven’t brought you down. This may help mitigate that later, and also give them a little relief from their pain.

10. Maintain the right relationship based on reality as it is.

With my friend, I’m always wishing she could be more positive. I consistently put myself in situations where I feel bad because I want to help. Because I want her to be happy. I’ve recently realized the best I can do is accept her as she is, let her know I believe in her ability to be happy, and then give her space to make the choice.

That means hanging up after I’ve made an effort to help. Or cutting a night short if I’ve done all I can and it’s draining me. Hopefully she’ll want to change some day. Until then, all I can do is love her, while loving myself enough to take care of my needs. Which often means putting them first.