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Abbreviated English Internet slang.

5 Jan
  • 10q: Thank you
  • AFAIR: As far as I remember
  • AFK: Away from keyboard
  • ALOL: Actually laughing out loud
  • ASL or A/S/L: Age, sex, location
  • ASLP or A/S/L/P: Age, sex, location, picture
  • ATEOTD: At The End of the Day
  • ATM: At the moment
  • BBIAB: Be back in a bit
  • BFN: Bye For Now
  • BRB: Be right back
  • BTDT: Been there done that
  • CMIIW: Correct me if I’m wrong
  • CU: See you (later)
  • CYA: See ya OR Cover Your Ass
  • DILLIGAF/D/S: Does it look like I give a flip / fuck / damn / shit
  • DND: Do not disturb
  • F9: Fine
  • FAQ: Frequently Asked Question(s)
  • FFS: For fuck’s sake
  • FML: Fuck my life.
  • FOAD: Fuck off and die
  • FTW: For the win
  • FTW?: Fuck the what? (reversal of WTF?, implies increased confusion)
  • FU: Fuck you
  • FWIW: For what it’s worth
  • FYI: For your information
  • GFU: Good for you
  • GFY: Go fuck yourself
  • gratz: Congratulations
  • GTFO: Get the fuck out
  • GTG or G2G: ‘Got to go’ or ‘Good to go’
  • HAND: have a nice day
  • HTH: Hope this / that helps
  • IDK/ IONO: I don’t know
  • ILY: I love you
  • IMO: In my opinion
  • IMHO: In my humble / honest opinion
  • IMNSHO: In my not so humble opinion
  • IRL: In real life
  • IWSN: I want sex now
  • IYKWIM: If you know what I mean
  • JK or j/k: Just kidding, or joke
  • KTHX: OK, thanks
  • kthxbye: OK, thanks, goodbye, used either to cut short a conversation or to express displeasure with being cut short
  • L8R: Later
  • LMAO: Laughing my ass off
  • LMFAO: Laughing my fucking ass off
  • LMIRL: Let’s meet in real life.
  • LOL: Laughing out loud, laugh out loud
  • lulz: corruption of LOL
  • LYLAB/S: Love you like a brother/ sister
  • MYOB: Mind your own business
  • N1: Nice one, used mostly often in gaming
  • NP: No problem
  • NVM, NVMD, or nm: Nevermind
  • O RLY: Oh really?
  • OIC: Oh, I see
  • OMG: Oh my god
  • OMFG: Oh my fucking god
  • OMGWTF: Oh my God what the fuck
  • OTOH: On the other hand
  • PAW: Parents are watching
  • PITA: Pain in the arse/ ass
  • POV: Point of view
  • PPL: People
  • ROFL/ROTFL: Rolling on (the) floor laughing
  • ROFLMAO/ROTFLMAO: Rolling on (the) floor laughing my ass off
  • ROFLMAOWPIMP/ROTFLMAOWPIMP: Rolling on (the) floor laughing my ass off while peeing in my pants
  • ROFLOL/ROTFLOL: Rolling on (the) floor laughing out loud
  • SMH: Shaking my head
  • STFU: Shut the fuck up
  • STFW: Search the fucking web
  • TBH: To be honest
  • THX/THNX, TNX or TX: Thanks
  • TIA: Thanks in advance
  • TL;DR: Too Long; Didn’t Read
  • TTFN: Ta ta for now
  • TTYL: Talk to you later (also spelled TTUL, T2UL or T2YL)
  • TTYN: Talk to you never
  • TTYS: Talk to you soon
  • TY: Thank you
  • TYT: Take your time
  • TYVM: Thank you very much
  • U: You
  • UTFSE: Use the fucking search engine
  • URS: You Really Suck
  • WB: Welcome back
  • WTF: What the fuck
  • WTG: Way to go
  • WTH: What the hell
  • WYSIWYG: What you see is what you get
  • W8: Wait
  • YGM: You’ve Got Mail.
  • YKW: You know what?
  • YW: You’re welcome

 

Relationship Advice – Have a Partner, not Competitor :)

21 Nov

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.

Ambitious, competitive people are likely to find themselves in relationships with each other, where this problem is likely to arise. If this description applies to you, you should really take the time to consider whether or not your relationship is suffering from this problem. “Boy energy,” is something Rori Raye talks about – it is the type of energy that women use to reach great heights. She suggests that we women avoid bringing it to our relationships with men, because it can undermine our efforts to make him feel loved, respected, and accepted.

It should be easy to tell if this is a problem for you. He may suddenly shy away from competitive activities, like board games or exercise. If he declines your invitations to participate in competitive activities consistently, you can be sure that there is trouble in paradise.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can’t keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

If you take this relationship advice to heart as soon as you realize that there is a rift in your relationship, you stand a chance of resolving these issues. By putting yourself in his shoes, you can better understand the problem. Competition is a natural part of life, but it should not be a part of your love life! By saving your competitive energy for when it counts, and offering him the love, acceptance, and respect he deserves, you can turn your competitive relationship into one of mutual support.

Is it ok for a woman to fart or burp in public?

21 Nov

Ok, so firstly, you may wonder why this post is about women, not men. And that is because it’s ok for men to fart and burp in public. Sorry, ladies, but it’s the truth. I wish it wasn’t, but it really is. Men are men, and they’d do it even if it wasn’t ok.

Now I’ll hit you with a fact; woman have more class than men. And men find that attractive. Honestly, men of the world, would you prefer someone classier than you, who you can show off with pride, or a dirty, nose-picking (something I’ll get into in another post), slightly loose “lady”? The former obviously.

Introduction done, now I’ll tell you all the reason as to why I’m making this post. Firstly, it’s an important question, and the second reason is four-fold. 1, my sister’s boyfriend said that farting in public is wrong period. 2, my Biology teacher said burping is better than farting in public. 3, my girl friend (that space means we aren’t together) always says she needs to “break wind” (she’s posh) but refuses to do it in the presence of anyone else. 4, the boys of my school happily fart in class, but the girls don’t, however they do burp.

Over the years, I have realised that burping in public is fine, men andwomen. I honestly do not know what my sister’s boyfriend was thinking when he said burping is worse than farting. So ladies, burp all you want. But fart? No, don’t do it. Yet.

The timing of when you can fart is like when you can get mad at someone. For example, you don’t have a go at someone who’s just become your friend, because you want them to stay friends with you, so you wait. And then one day, you can lose it with them, and they’ll still be cool with you. So if you wait long enough, you can fart in front of people, and they won’t hate you for it.

The moral of this post is, although farting and burping is as natural as wanting to sex someone up good and proper, it can’t just be done straight away if you’re a woman. Like sex, men can do whatever they want and society looks past it, but if a woman does it – outrage. So, to you ladies out there, burp all you want (just don’t blow it. Unless it’s at a cat, then it’s hilarious.), but wait a while before you fart. Slowly add more and more farts to your daily life, and people won’t even notice that you’re farting in front of them. Simple.

 

10 Ways To Deal With Negative People ;p

11 Oct

I read an article on Tinybuddha’s blog and the writer came up with these amazing 10 ways. Check it out.

 

1. Resist the urge to judge or assume.

It’s hard to offer someone compassion when you assume you have them pegged. He’s a jerk. She’s a malcontent. He’s an–insert other choice adjective. Even if it seems unlikely someone will wake up one day and act differently we have to remember it is possible.

When you think negative thoughts, it comes out in your body language. Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. Try coming at them with the positive mindset you wish they had. Expect the best in them. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised.

2. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole.

It’s always easier to offer someone compassion if you try to understand where they’re coming from. But that can’t completely excuse their behavior. If you show negative people you condone the way they act, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down).

It may help to repeat this in your head when you deal with them: “I understand your pain. But I’m most helpful if I don’t feed into it.” This might help you approach them with both kindness and firmness so they don’t manipulate you.

3. Maintain a positive boundary.

Some people might tell you to visualize a bright white light around you. This doesn’t actually work for me because I respond better to ideas in words than visualizations. So I tell myself this, “I can only control the positive space I create around myself.”

Then when I interact with this person, I try to do three things, in this order of importance:

  • Protect the positive space around me. When their negativity is too strong to protect it, I need to walk away.
  • Diffuse their negativity.
  • Help them feel more positive, not act more positive–which is more likely to create the desired result.

4. Disarm their negativity, even if just for now.

This goes back to the ideas I mentioned above. I know my depressed friend will rant about life’s injustices as long as I let her. Part of me feels tempted to play amateur psychiatrist–get her talking, and then try to help her reframe situations into a more positive light.

Then I remind myself I can’t change her whole way of being in one phone call. She has to want that. But I can help her focus on something positive right now, in this moment. I can ask about her upcoming birthday. I can remind her it’s a beautiful day for a walk. Don’t try to solve or fix them. Just aim to help them now.

5. Temper your emotional response.

Negativity loves getting a rise out of people. Someone to feel for the sob story. Someone to get outraged over the injustice. Someone to get offended by the racist joke. I suspect this gives them a little light in the darkness of their inner world–a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own anger or sadness.

People remember and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you feed into the situation with emotions, you’ll teach them they can depend on you for a reaction. It’s tough not to react because we’re human, but it’s worth practicing. Respond as calmly as you can with a simple line of fact, even if it’s unrelated. “Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Planning to watch it?”

6. Question what you’re getting out of it.

Like I mentioned above, we often get something out of relationships with negative people. Get real honest with yourself: have you fallen into a caretaker role because it makes you feel needed? Have you gossiped in a holier-than-thou way? Do you have some sort of stake in keeping the things the way they are?

Questioning yourself helps you change the way you respond–which is really all you can control. You can’t make someone think, feel, or act differently. You can be as kind as possible or as combative as possible, and still not change reality for someone else. All you can control is what you think and do–and then do your best to help them without hurting yourself.

7. Remember the numbers.

Research shows that people with bad attitudes have significantly higher rates of stress and disease. Someone’s mental state plays a huge role in their physical health. If someone’s making life miserable for people around them, you can be sure they’re doing worse for themselves.

What a sad reality. That someone has so much pain inside them they have to act out, like a kid in a tantrum, just to feel some sense of relief–even if that relief comes from getting a rise out of people. When you remember how much a difficult person is suffering, it’s easier to stay focused on minimizing negativity, as opposed to defending yourself or making it worse.

8. Don’t take it personally–but know sometimes it is personal.

Conventional wisdom suggests you should never take it personally when you deal with a negative person. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. You can’t write off everything someone says because they’re insensitive or untactful. An abrasive person can come at you in the worst possible way with a valid point.

Accept that you don’t deserve the excessive emotions in someone’s tone, but weigh their ideas with a willingness to learn. Some of the most useful lessons I’ve learned came from people I wished weren’t right. When you give someone credit who deep down doesn’t think they deserve it, you may inspire a profound shift in how they interpret the world.

9. Act instead of just reacting.

Oftentimes we wait until someone gets angry or depressed to address their persistently negative way of being. If you know someone who seems to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings (as demonstrated in their behavior) don’t wait for a situation to be part of the solution.

Give them a compliment for something they did well. Remind them of a moment when they were happy–as in Remember when you scored that touchdown during the company picnic? That was awesome! You’re more apt to want to boost them up when they haven’t brought you down. This may help mitigate that later, and also give them a little relief from their pain.

10. Maintain the right relationship based on reality as it is.

With my friend, I’m always wishing she could be more positive. I consistently put myself in situations where I feel bad because I want to help. Because I want her to be happy. I’ve recently realized the best I can do is accept her as she is, let her know I believe in her ability to be happy, and then give her space to make the choice.

That means hanging up after I’ve made an effort to help. Or cutting a night short if I’ve done all I can and it’s draining me. Hopefully she’ll want to change some day. Until then, all I can do is love her, while loving myself enough to take care of my needs. Which often means putting them first.

 

Breast Cancer Awareness: What Are We Buying Into?

11 Oct

Breast cancer awareness has become synonymous with the ubiquitous pink ribbon. Everyone know what the pink ribbon means, it’s successfully become a logo associated with the disease. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, you have most likely seen the pink ribbon plastered on everything from potato chips to dryer sheets to alcohol. There are numerous commercials promoting that if you buy “X” product, they will give some portion of each sold to (insert breast cancer research organization or charity here).

The Internet, as an infinite mode of spreading information, is also an active frontier for awareness raising campaigns, particularly via Facebook and Twitter. Remember a Facebook campaign is why Betty White hosted her first episode of Saturday Night Live despite having a 50+ year career in television. There were Twibbons (Twitter ribbons) that tweeters posted on their avatars (the small photo that accompanies your profile) for Haiti earthquake relief and many turned their avatars green in support of democracy in Iran during their elections last year. There’s pink ribbons available all year for breast cancer awareness. My question is what does “awareness” mean?

By now, most women from tweens to seniors know that we should be doing self-exams and checking for lumps in the shower. We know that we should get mammograms at 50, despite conflicting research. This is key information for both women and men. We also know that the branding of the color pink in October signifies breast cancer. But are we as a society using ribbons and social media to truly advance the cause?

If you’re a woman who is a Facebook user, you may have already received messages in your inbox asking you to play a “game” to raise awareness of breast cancer month. The game asks you to post in your status where you like to keep your purse. Huh? You are supposed to write in your status: “I like it on the counter” or “I like it on the desk” offering some sexual innuendo so that men Facebookers will catch on and instantly be interested in breast cancer. If you’re not making the connection between where you like “it” and breast cancer, you’re not alone. This is the latest incarnation of a earlier campaign in which women posted their bra color in their status…but at least there’s a connection with bras and breasts though the premise of “mystery” and “secrecy” is still the same.

An article on Time.com addresses the misguided idea of tantalizing men to create interest and awareness, noting that these sexually-tinged status updates get attention but not the kind that is going to inspire someone to research breast cancer. To go a step further, can’t we find a more clever way to get men’s and other women’s attention about breast cancer? For example, the awareness campaign “Save the TaTas” is flirty and effective. Getting heterosexual men to focus on breasts isn’t that tough but seriously I think we are grossly underestimating their intelligence and interest in breast cancer prevention. Many men have experienced dealing with the disease via their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, extended family and friends. Are we also eliminating the idea of gay men as advocates and allies as well?

The idea is that many of the “pink” products actually contribute to breast, and other forms, of cancer. As Angela Wall from Breast Cancer Action (BCA) mentioned, alcohol companies are cashing in on the awareness campaigns spinning the idea that buying a pink ribbon labeled bottle today is supporting breast cancer research all year long even though there is a connection between alcohol and breast cancer. There are also various cosmetics companies participating in the pink ribbon craze meanwhile many of their products which women use daily (such as perfume and lipstick) are loaded with carcinogens. It’s not just liquor and cosmetics, but I’ve noticed that any products that are associated with women are using the pink ribbon, particularly detergents and house cleaners (more gender stereotyping) made from toxic chemicals including known carcinogens.

It’s natural to feel good about buying a product from a company that is contributing money to a good cause like breast cancer prevention. However BCA’s “Think Before You Pink” campaign asks consumers to consider what they are buying in the name of breast cancer awareness. So instead of continuing the cycle and exposing ourselves to things that increase our chances of developing cancer, let’s consider donating directly to breast cancer research organizations, or supporting a friend who is doing “Race for the Cure.”

To return to social media’s role, there has been some pushback from both men and women about the Facebook status campaign and in response many organizations and individuals are encouraging their friends to post legitimate articles on breast cancer if they are planning to participate. At least people can still have the fun of being “sexy” backed up with some relevant and potentially life-saving information. I’m curious to know where this campaign originated because it has done more promotion for Facebook than for breast cancer.

There is a wide variety of breast cancer resources available online and specifically on Facebook. For example: Breast Cancer Awareness not only sells pink ribbon products to raise money for mammograms but also is encouraging interactivity by asking people who “like” them to share a story or post in their status the name of someone they have grown closer to because of breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Campaign, based in England, created an application where users purchase a ribbon for their Facebook page with proceeds going directly to fund research.

However we individually decide to support breast cancer prevention (or not), let’s please take a moment to think about how we are concretely advancing the cause. Did we educate others or ourselves? Did we support research for a cure? Did we lend a listening ear for a survivor that wants to share their story? I think those things can have a bigger impact than pink dryer sheets or perfume.

And for the record, I like it on my chair.

 

 

 

Why Did She Wait So Long? Later Abortions and the Implications of the New Nebraska Ban

11 Oct

At 17, Rachel* was a high school senior when her steady boyfriend forced her to have sex. Rachel’s period was not regular, and like her family, Rachel had always considered herself pro-life. When she finally realized that she was pregnant and thought about her strong desire to go to college and her life goals, she realized that for her, abortion was the right decision.

Rachel called the nearest clinic and was informed that her state had a parental consent law, requiring her to get the consent of a parent or a judge because she was under 18. For the next three weeks Rachel feared telling anyone, especially family, but after much deliberation and anxiety she finally told her mother. While her mother was initially angry, within a few days she agreed to help Rachel get an abortion. They called the nearest clinic and got the first available appointment, one week away.  At the appointment, Rachel and her mother were shocked when the ultrasound showed that Rachel was already five months (20 weeks) pregnant. The clinic did not offer abortions past 14 weeks. They referred her to a clinic five hours away, but because of limited physician availability that facility had no appointments for three weeks. They also learned that the clinic could not accept the health insurance that Rachel’s family had. Since Rachel’s procedure would take two days to perform, they would also need to make arrangements to stay in a hotel. Rachel and her mother spent the next three weeks borrowing $2,500 to pay for the travel, hotel, and abortion. On the day that Rachel finally had her abortion, she was 2 days shy of 24 weeks pregnant.

Rachel’s story is more common than many might think. “Pro-choice” or “pro-life,” most people do not realize that although only one percent of abortions occur at 21 weeks or later, this one percent represents about 11,000** women in the United States who get later abortions every year.[1],[2] Many of these women must raise $2,000 to $4,000 to get the abortion they need. These women are disproportionately young and poor, and many already have a job. Some struggle to cover the cost of birth control pills, in addition to food and the next month’s rent. Pulling together the money for an abortion takes time and sacrifice.

This is compounded by the fact that the nearest abortion provider is often in another state. In addition to various state regulations that restrict access to abortion care, such as waiting periods and parental consent laws, only a few facilities nationwide provide abortions late in the second trimester. Since these abortions usually require two or more days to complete and are not widely available, women who must travel to these providers have to make extensive arrangements for travel, childcare, and accommodations. These all add to the cost for the woman, and as she scrambles to put all the pieces together, the cost of her abortion continues to rise. At 10 weeks the average abortion costs $450.  Each additional week may add $100 or more.  Studies have found that many women who obtain later abortions tried to have the abortion sooner but could not overcome these financial, geographic, and political barriers. [3],[4]

For Rachel, being unfamiliar with the symptoms of being pregnant, having irregular periods, her ambivalence about abortion coming from growing up in a “pro-life” family, and being in denial about the fact that her boyfriend had raped her all contributed to late recognition of her pregnancy.  Restrictive policies, a delayed referral, and needing to travel to find a provider who could help her pushed her to present much later for the abortion she needed.

Diana* already had special-needs three year-old twins when she found herself pregnant a second time.  She brought up the idea of abortion with her abusive, alcoholic husband who angrily rejected the idea, despite their current financial and emotional strain.  He demanded she deliver a son for him, a “normal one,” not some “freak show” like before, and punched and kicked her when she argued.

During Diana’s 20th week of pregnancy, after weeks of fear and contemplation, she secretly borrowed money for an abortion from her sister.  Before bed that night, she hid clothing and her purse in the bathtub, planning to slip away with the twins in the pre-dawn hours.  When her husband caught her attempting to leave, he beat her ferociously. Three weeks later, her bruises still present, Diana found another opportunity to leave, this time leaving the twins with her sister. She feared for their safety and her own, but was resolute in her decision to terminate her pregnancy.

She took a bus to New York City, now 23 weeks pregnant, but the abortion was more expensive than planned. A friend offered to contribute, and together they spent another few days raising the additional $300. Diana was lucky; in spite of the delays and obstacles, she found help raising the money and was able to get to New York City where there are abortion providers who could take care of her.

Diana’s story, like Rachel’s, is a typical example of “the perfect storm”- the intersection of life situation, funding and regulatory barriers, scrambling to find a provider and needing to travel – all circumstances that may lead a woman to seek an abortion later in her pregnancy. However, most Americans are unaware of how women find themselves in the center of this storm. According to a 2010 Gallup poll, 45 percent of Americans consider themselves to be pro-choice. Nevertheless, only one quarter of Americans support women’s right to end an unwanted pregnancy in the second trimester.[5] Many Americans become uncomfortable with later abortion because they focus on the developmental level of the fetus rather than on the rights of the pregnant woman, overlooking the myriad reasons that women need later abortions. Without the full picture of women like Rachel and Diana, it is easy to assume that women who obtained later abortions had total control over when to come for abortion care and simply chose to delay. These women are often misjudged as careless and immoral and of not taking responsibility for presenting earlier for abortion care.

The reality is that women need later abortions for many of the same reasons women need any other abortion. A woman or girl is not yet ready to start a family; she’s about to start college; she’s just lost her job; she was raped; she needs to look after her existing children.  Later abortions, like earlier abortions, happen because birth control fails, because the choice of when and how to be sexual is not always a woman’s choice, because obtaining health insurance is slow or out of reach, or because the decision to fully commit to the children that she already has is a moral decision that women take seriously. For some women, a diagnosis of fetal anomaly comes late in pregnancy, for some it comes earlier.  For others, partners leave, houses disappear in hurricanes or floods and their new situation means they no longer feel they can parent a new child. Women who seek early and later abortions alike do not make a decision about a pregnancy in isolation; each woman’s decision is impacted by her location, health, socioeconomic status, race, nationality, religious beliefs and family circumstances.

In April 2010, the Nebraska legislature banned abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy for all reasons except for the life and physical health of the mother. This law will go into effect on October 15.  What little public discussion there has been about this new law has centered on the constitutionality of the ban or the scientific credibility of the reasons for the ban.  Scarce attention is being paid to the women whose abortions will be prohibited if the ban is allowed to go into effect.

The stories of the women who need later abortions must be placed at the center of the debate.  The Rachels and Dianas of Nebraska have lost access to the abortions that they need. While we may not all agree with the decisions these women make, we can develop empathy and understanding for their situations, along with the awareness that these women are struggling to do the best they can with time against them.  Support for women seeking later abortions needs to start with each of us.

*The stories in this article are true summaries of women who presented for services at the ParkMed Physicians clinic in New York during 2009.  Details have been changed to protect the anonymity of the women.

**Estimated from CDC data containing all states but CA, LA, and NH, plus Guttmacher State Profile data for CA, LA, and NH.

 

SEX & LOVE or SEX vs. LOVE?

10 Oct

Let’s talk a little bit about what no one wants to talk about; sex. Sex and particularly how it pertains to love. Some people believe that sex and love should be separate, while some people believe that sex cannot exist without love.

Although love can make sex that much better, is it really worth the trouble that it causes?

There will always be one person chasing another in a relationship; this, as much as some people would not like to believe, is fact. Perhaps not in the traditional way, but at least in one way or another.
Sex is the same, especially when linked to love. One personal will always want sex more than the other person. Similarly, one person will always want love more than the other person.

I use “always” in a general sense not in a definitive sense; keep that in mind.

So, how does one avoid the odd entanglement of sex and love and avoid getting ensnared in the road ahead? When entering into a relationship, there are already so many questions about sex that need to be answered – are you already having it, will you be having it, when and where? how often and why?
And then once your relationship progresses, and you move in together, does the frequency increase or decrease? Most people would say decrease. High stress situations mixed with a general ‘spending a lot of time around the other person’ is usually more than enough to kill the mood – especially for the person who is being pursued.

How does the one pursuing in sex then contain themselves? Never wanting to pressure the other into sex, but being constantly in the rejection square.

Masturbation only goes so far.